doctors.

Today I had my first PACE (Primary and Ambulatory Care Experience). I will spend time over the next 3 years with an assigned Family Practice doctor, and I went for the first time today. The first time the doctor handed me a chart and told me to go and interview the patient, I felt myself freaking out. I'm so used to shadowing in high school and college where you sit in the corner and watch with summaries and explanations before and after each patient. I was amazed at the difference a white coat makes (symbolically, not essentially). get to interact with patients and talk with them as an authority that they'll divulge private information--all the while knowing nothing.

All fall I practiced interviewing and physical skills. And did pretty well at it. But I should clarify that all my patients were fake, "standardized" patients that were given a script of information and that we were videotaped watching. but,walking into the first room of the first real patient, I felt inadequate and nervous. I'm SO used to not really knowing what I'm doing, that it's crazy to realize that I'm acquiring skills. I can hardly believe that I'm a year and a half away from having my life be at the hospital. I have so much left to learn. So much. I can't imagine ever being able to handle these conversations competently. While I still can't follow all the medication lists and interactions, I can follow disease and anatomy. And lab results are looking less and less foreign to me.

But oh, it's exciting and overwhelming all at once.