just a reminder....

On my left hand I wear a ring. I've worn it since my senior year in high school. Maybe you've seen it and not thought anything of it. But to me, it's my reminder that I'm called to live for something bigger than myself. Four years ago it meant something entirely different than it means to me now. At the time, it was my commitment to serve God overseas. And it's incredible to know that I've kept this commitment. At the time, my little 17 year old self thought it would mean living overseas for the rest of my life, but it looks different now. Don't get me wrong, if God calls me, I'll go, but I've learned a lot about myself and about what God has in store for me in the last few years. I've learned that my strengths are strongest here in America. And that there's so much work for me to do here and in this place. In my culture and in my society. In my country and my government.

Even though my dream has shifted, I still wear the ring. It reminds me of my responsibility and my passion. It reminds me of where I've been and where I'm going. I got this ring during a missions trip my senior year to Quito, Ecuador. It was a cheap little ring-- it symbolized a shift to a focus outside of myself. I wish I could say that I'm less selfish than I was when I was 17. But that wouldn't be honest. But I do see the world so differently than I did then. I've learned to see people and situations and circumstances for more than face value. I've learned to ask the question of "why" someone is doing that particular thing. I've learned to care about the big picture more than my tiny microcosm.

That time I spent in Ecuador catalyzed a pivotal shift in my perspective. It seems surreal that I'll be returning. That I'll get to walk through the transition that this will have on many students' lives as it did with my own. And it definitely already has stimulated my own thoughts regarding how far I've come since I was a student on the 'same' trip. I fell in love with the world on that trip. I fell in love with watching God work. I fell in love with community and fellowship. I'm praying that the students going this year will be able to have even a fraction of the amazing-ness. Even a fraction would be life-changing.

Happy List.

1. I got TWO packages in the mail of books I ordered. I love new books, and I love getting mail.
   
2. it's gorgeous outside and I'm going to go on a run in 2 hours.
3. only two more weeks of biochem.
   
4. What we're learning is crazy interesting!
5. In 2.5 and 3.5 weeks respectively, I'll be at conferences in Dayton and DC.
6. This summer I'll be far away from Akron.
   
7. I can see grass. and wear a t-shirt without freezing.
   
8. Sunday is tapestry for my discipleship group.
   
9. My ILT group at school (of 20 people) is almost completely filled with hard workers.
   
10. I'm having to squint at the screen because of the glare from the SUN!!! (yes, the weather is a really big deal after the several feet of snow we've had in the last couple of months.)
    

who I want to be

Have you ever met someone, even briefly, that makes you think "I want to be like that." There's this phenomenal woman that I met when I was in India. Relatively speaking, I hardly know her. But she mentored two of my fellow-interns, and the team she led semi-adopted me. She had this unique way of encouraging. I couldn't put my finger on it then, and for the life of me, I can't now. I saw her again briefly when I was in Nebraska last spring and had the same impression. Whether it was in her manner, or her personality, or what, I don't know. But I want to be like that. To leave the impression on everyone I meet that they have value and are understood and have value. To have wisdom treasured up, and to speak easily with people as to instill trust from the start. I realize how far I am from this goal. I realize how short I fall in this arena, but I so desire to be like that. To learn what it means to be a graceful woman of God.

P.S. The nicest people in the world are from Nebraska :) Despite the fact that they have more cows than people in their state, I think I'd be happy to live there some day!