Some days I feel like I'm more extroverted than introverted. I don't know what to do with that.

the book that I love.

For 6 months I've carried around this book. It's not intimidatingly overwhelming from the outside--no more than your average textbook. It has "First Aid" plastered in large font over the front cover, implying a simpler topic than what's below it "USMLE Step 1". But it contains 80% of the information (in abbreviated form) of what I need to know. I've lived with this book for months. I've read through each page 3-4 times now. I've noted each bullet point that is representative of an hour of lecture. I've highlighted and I've neatly printed elaborating notes and important points in the margins. The pharmacology pages are neatly marked with post-its. This book has almost become an extension of myself. My own handwriting throughout. My own notes. My own emphasis on important points, or on points that for the life of me I can't remember. As much as studying has been tedious, I still love this book. I love the knowledge that it holds. I love the centuries of research and discovery that this little book opens to me in simple statements.

I've complained that it's tedious and a bit monotonous, but I had a realization on Saturday. Numbers 11 talks of how the Israelites complained about the manna--how there wasn't enough diversity and that they were "bored" of the manna. And while I know there are great spiritual depths here that i have left unexplored, what struck me was their ingratitude for a blessing. This was convicting in the wake of my life of studying. I've always said that my education and the pursuit of medicine was something that was a huge blessing to me. One of the greatest gifts that God has given me. Why, then, am I complaining for living in "only" this blessing for the time being? Shouldn't any blessing of God's be blessing enough? So the next morning when I opened my books, I had a new perspective.

Ok, that was a good study break--back to the books :)