beyond me

It's something I just don't understand in myself. Like I look at my life from the outside and want to grab my shoulders and shake them forcefully as if to shake sense into my own head. It's never been this way before where logic doesn't rule my thoughts and emotions. And I can't make up my mind how far to let it go. The swirling loss of control, the excitement of acting out of character and the anticipated arrival of brokenness all crash down into chaos and confusion. But in a twisted way the chaos has begun to feel like home and the confusion has become where I reside instead of a place that I fear.

I suppose something interesting must be going on...

Meet Lily: she's the little one. And makes life happy! Seriously, you can't be in a bad mood when there's a 3lb puppy that's just thrilled to see you in the morning and when you get home from class.

And now I just have to get through June :)

I take boards June 26th which will be the hardest and most important exam that I have ever or will ever take. So when I emerge from the cocoon of studying, I fly to Ireland with my brother and two cousins to explore the land of our ancestors. This has been a trip that we've been planning and anticipating for 6 years now, and booking our flights earlier this week brought an excitement and adrenaline rush that we're actually going!! I've spent way to many hours this week on lonely planet finding awesome hostels.

http://hotels.lonelyplanet.com/ireland/dublin-r1975358/avalon-house-p1020875/

http://hotels.lonelyplanet.com/england/london-r1974887/palmers-lodge-p1038305/?lpaffil=lpdest-hhlink

Seriously, how cool is that??? Anyways, I need to get back to my day of board studying :(