So we may not be the wisest girls in India...

So you see the top of that water tower-- in the middle of the picture, over the palm trees? Yeah at 4:30 AM THAT is where I was! We might have been afraid of getting in trouble, so we wanted to climb it when no one was around. We somehow came to the conclusion that 4:30 AM was a good idea :) We all had been wanting to climb it since pretty much our first day. And seeing as today is Andrea and Ashley's last day here, we just HAD to climb it. Yeah... it was a bit taller than we thought. And a bit scarier climb than we thought. haha. But we are safe and alive! It was cool to be so high up at night--India felt so peaceful. And we just sat and prayed. It was worth it. And it was an adventure!

Ok, well I'm gonna run and spend the next couple of hours with dear friends who are leaving tonight!

change of seasons

6 weeks are up, meaning most of the other international interns are heading back. Amy and Megan left last night, which was very sad for me. And my other friends leave either today or tomorrow night. Very soon it will be me, Elise and Uwe. It's hard to describe my emotions right now. I'm sad to see people leave, but at the same time I'm excited to begin the next portion of my stay here. Things will be different. Oh so different. I'm already getting involved in some different things and pursuing different opportunities in the slum areas and in the schools. And I'm also a bit frustrated at stuff I'm missing back home. Its been an emotionally charged summer for all of us in different ways I believe. I feel like someone at some point needs to teach us how to process. I missed that lesson in school and I feel like I'm frequently just a mess 'cause I don't know what to do with the different lessons I'm learning.

This morning I remembered that I am definitely in India! As most of you know, I was quite involved in the jh at my church back home. Needless to say, I was very excited when I was made aware that they were trying to start up a youth program at my church here! I went to the 'vision' meeting this morning. What an adventure. I know I often got frustrated with meeting back home. I assure you it won't happen again :) The whole time sitting there I had no idea what the goals or purpose of the meeting was. It was everyone brainstorming and saying the same thing and in my western mind I kept having to remind myself that I'm in India and meetings aren't task oriented and linear and direct. It was my first mostly Indian meeting here so it was a good cultural reminder!

But it looks like there is a chance I'll get to lead a small group of teenage girls, which would make me SO happy considering it is my passion :) and I also found a community group/study that I can join. I'm really excited about it and the women are ones that I enjoy and it will be so beneficial for me to know while I'm here!

I'm in India??

This week has been good... After a rather rough week last week... But Monday I took care of a boy with acute abdominal pain and sat with his family and prayed with them. Yesterday in the medical camp was somewhat sobering. After playing with the kids much of the afternoon, I was called over by Dr. Anna. She explained that the patient she was talking with had had a fairly rare medical condition resulting after the delivery of her child causing deformities of her hands and feet preventing her from walking or doing almost anything. And then we prayed. There was some strange power in it--knowing nothing but that could help this woman. In speaking to her husband afterwards the boys discovered that of course he had taken a second wife! What choice did he have? I felt sobered and silenced thinking of her position in life. How can I begin to fathom that loss--loss of your physical abilities, loss of your husband in a sense, loss of your ability and respect, total dependence for everything. This encounter was followed by a 4 month old baby placed in my arms, which i love :) It was then explained to me as I held this beautiful child that the mother standing next to me was 16 years old. She had been married for 4 years already--since she was 12 years old. To have been married for 8 years by the time I am at this point in my life? I can't begin to wrap my mind around the monstrous responsibility at such a young age. Seeing a face with the story stopped me in my tracks.

Today--I gave my first injection :) Basically, I was taking care of a patient with suspected malaria--fever, loose motions, vomitting. One of the nurses is from Germany and was explaining everything to me as he went. Finally he just handed me the syringe. The day overall made me feel 'useful' and that I was being productive! My task-orientedness was definitely coming out, but it was a good day!

I actually woke up this morning: looked out the window, heard the birds, saw the palm trees and wondered to myself that such a place should be my home for the next 9 months. Its incredible to me that I could be this privileged.

freedom

There is freedom in humility. I feel like I’ve learned more this month even just about myself than I have in the last 6-7 years. I’ve always struggled with pride—that should be no secret to anyone. I made sure I was always strong, at least in appearance, at everything I put my mind to. But now, everything I placed my pride in pretty much just doesn’t exist here. I’m not in school so my grades and studying doesn’t matter at all—in the clinic there is no pride to be really placed in independent study and curiosity. Athleticwise I always pushed through walls and typically was fairly competitive. Here, women just don’t really do sports. Me and Ashley usually just merely walk (with some sprinting and skipping intermingled when no one is in sight) and people don’t admire us for our discipline but merely think we’re all the more crazy! I have no wisdom here or understanding of how things work or what should be done in any given situation. There's no place for my pride in India.

And it is freeing. Everyone expects us to be crazy and weird anyways. What really do we have to prove? I sing a lot here! I actually love to sing to myself, with my friends. Randomly to burst into offkey Disney, patriotic or praise songs gives me so much joy! I’m not a great singer, but I don’t really care! Today I started drawing. One of my good friends Ashley picked up the hobby on coming here and I was admiring her journal/sketchbook/scrapbook and decided, why not?? So I spent an hour drawing pitchers and vases and most likely will persist in this endeaver ‘cause I thoroughly enjoyed it, although I am not intrinsically artistic and have never nurtured that part of my mind! I don’t think I ever really even so much valued it as something I could ever enjoy, yet when I didn’t have to be great at it, but really could just do it ‘cause I felt like it and wanted to try something new—it was so joyous!

I'm attempting to discover the boundary of building walls around the heart and letting myselves learn from mistakes and hurts. But its somewhere in the middle, while previously I think I believed it to lie very far to the former. Its ok to expose ourselves to potential hurt, ‘cause without that vulnerability there cannot be much vitality to life. Isn’t it better to live life fully and work though the pains and hurts that it brings with it—to grow and mature and draw near to God through hurts and disappointments—than to just live steadfastly in low expectations, constantly talking ourselves out of what we truly desire? If we really believe that God is molding our desires, that shouldn’t we let ourselves desire?

I feel like a month ago I would never recognize the above paragraphs as something I would ever think to write! God is working so much in my heart and mind and I can see how much I’ve grown and matured in one months’ time. I can hardly imagine where he will guide me in the next 9! I know that these might seem random and disjointed from lessons I'm 'supposed' to be learning overseas, but I guess God's just surprising me in the very strange ways he's challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and wrestle with issues of the heart.


I went to the zoo with the kids from the pipe village--two of my friends work there regularly and asked me to help 'chaperone' the field trip. The pic above is my favorite little girl Depali.

So maybe blogging will be easier??

Observations on life: Indias beautiful. The driving hardly phases me anymore, I’m less concerned about time and shopping stresses me out less! I just bought a gorgeous Sari ☺ It makes me happy! I am wrestling a lot about theology vs. culture and where to draw the line of what’s important and what’s just culture. I’m feeling a bit in a rut here… like I’m really just at a standstill and not sure how to process and work through some thinking and coping and am just not feeling too effective… But I have definitely started to process and work through things that bother and frustrate me. It is good to actually come to grips with the culture. I’m also building relationships with many of the Indian girls. They love to laugh and really are willing to be your friend if you’re willing to sit with them at meals and smile a lot! Most of all though, I’ve really come to love the other interns. Someone mentioned to me that last summer they made some of their best friends in the 6 weeks they were on their trip. I didn’t believe her… until now ☺ I love these girls so much! We have the randomest, most deep and thought provoking, conversation. I’m not gonna lie, we’re a lot of fun too! And we’re so incredibly awkward. I think I’d be lost without them processing through India and Indian culture, and the poverty and the religious and gender implications with me! Plus we have oatmeal for breakfast on the roof with mangos (better than any mango you’ve ever eaten in the states) on special occasions. We have adventures to the one coffee shop we know of in the whole cities and have adventures with plenty of Rickshaws. I’m blown away with how quickly I’ve come to love these girls (picture up top is of me and four of the other interns--(left to right: me, Andrea, Ashley, Amy, Megan)! And the guys are good to us and take care of us. They make our shower work and make us rotti (kinda like tortillas only better) and nuttella at random hours of the night and we have parties.

One particular change of note is my overcoming of my personal space! Same gender physical contact is the norm here and its expected that good friends walk down the street holding hands. Me and two of my dear friends here walked like a ½ mile holding hands! You should be so proud of me!

And the clinic is good! I’m focusing mostly on relationships at the moment and observing how things are done. Sometimes I’m really frustrated, but overall its good! i love the doctors I get to work with and am loving just being an encouragement to the women that come into the clinic.

Currently there are probably around 100 students here on campus all my ageish (a bit older). Many of them will be here through my entire time, so its good to get to know them! The girls just love to laugh and give us such a great chance. They have a sense of community among themselves that is so welcoming and loving and open to all who are willing to initiate that friendship! I'm excited to continue to get to know them over the next year!

Yeah, I’ve decided to use this blog, ‘cause then people can chose to read my updates rather than emails where they magically appear in your inbox all the time ☺ Don’t worry, I’m still gonna send an email every once in a while, but I’ll probably update here a bit more frequently.


I'm a bit homesick, but God is faithful and I'm loving India about 100x more than I was a month ago :)