life in America: one month

I just finished writing what should have been the easiest paper of my life.  10 pages on  my experience in India.  Easy, right?  I must say that it was one of the most draining things that I have ever written.  Every page I wrote made me more and more homesick for India.  I think its actually pretty funny when people think it's an easy transition to come back into my home culture.  

I was sitting in church my first Sunday back in the United States.  "Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful, where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name.  Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert place, thought I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name."  We sang the same worship song the Sunday before I left for India.  I remember uncontrollable tears falling as I envisioned the material interpretation of that song.  I was going from a land of plenty to a land of want.  I was going from a place where I was established and have a support system to a place where I knew nobody and had no idea who would encourage and challenge me.  

Sitting in an American church once again and listening to the same song tears started coming to my eyes for a very different reason.  I was once again making a transition, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what transition I was actually making.  I am clearly going from a land of material want to a land of material plenty.  But I am also transitioning from a land of spiritual passion and vibrancy to a land of spiritual apathy.  How do I reconcile this in my mind?  

Elise and I had the conversation about 'being content' a lot while she was in India.  I was inspired by Hebrews 4:12-13.  "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  

In my observations, Christians living in dire poverty actually have less trouble with being content than those of us living in plenty.  Every time I've examined that verse, I've seemed to focus on the 'being content while living in want' portion.  But how often do we living contentedly while we have plenty.  Do we horde our wealth for ourselves, or do we feel guilty about our wealth?  What do we do with our blessings?  I have actually begun to think that feeling guilty for God's gifts is nearly as ungrateful as the greedy consumption of God's gifts.  Just something I've been thinking about and wrestling with for the last...year.  We are a blessed country.  What are we supposed to do with this?